Dancing With My Own Shadows

As August begins, I can’t help but reflect on this whirlwind of a summer. It’s been ten weeks of uncharted territory—just me, my thoughts, and an apartment on Seaport Blvd. It was a summer of independence, a solo adventure that was as exciting as it was introspective.

In the beginning of June, I packed up and moved to Boston for an internship and a hopeful summer of endless stories. Living alone is an odd sensation. Friends would come by, family would drop in, but for the most part, I was dancing solo.

The charm of a summer spent navigating a new city while being single and in your early twenties is not lost on me. It’s the kind of story that sounds like it’s straight out of a coming-of-age novel. From pilates classes, blueberry lemonade and of course, countless debriefs at Tatte—this city became my playground. I know this summer will be one of those nostalgic tales I’ll recount to my kids one day, with a single tear drop streaming from my eye.

But here’s the thing about living alone: it’s a double-edged sword. When someone asks me if I enjoy it, I’m torn. On one hand, there’s a kind of blissful freedom in being able to fully relax and revel in solitude. On the other hand, there are those days where the silence becomes a breeding ground for overthinking. I found myself caught in a cycle of contemplation—what’s next for work, what should I have for dinner, the endless parade of what-ifs. It’s as if the more I think, the more I sink.

There were days, I’ll admit, when I let the solitude spiral into sadness. Days when I would cry and feel an overwhelming sense of self-doubt. Instead of reaching for a book, taking a walk, or indulging in ice cream, I let myself be consumed by the shadows of my thoughts. But here’s the silver lining: those moments of vulnerability were also profound lessons in self-accountability.

Living alone means you’re responsible for your own happiness and well-being. It’s not just about being present, like I discussed in my last article. It’s about actively choosing not to let yourself sink into negativity. Sure, the Love Island episode on the screen might not be intellectually stimulating, but it's those small, mindful choices—whether it's getting ice cream or reaching out to a friend—that make all the difference.

As much as I cherish the quiet moments of self-discovery, I’ve come to realize that I thrive in the presence of those I love. This summer, as magical as it was, has reinforced the value of connection. I am incredibly grateful for the lessons learned during my solo escapades and will carry them with me, along with the memories of blueberry lemonades and sunny Boston days.

So here’s to a summer of finding myself, learning to dance with my own shadow. Cheers to embracing the solitude, celebrating the connections, and, most importantly, to the ongoing journey of self-discovery.

Until next summer.

xoxo

NF